Who is this God person anyways?

Acknowledgements

If not for the ones that I will acknowledge, this research would not have had the same magnitude of success. I would like to thank authors Joseph Heller, Douglas Adams, George Orwell, Jane Austen, Jordan Belfort, Leonardo Di Caprio, Martin Scorsese, the members of Alcoholics Anonymous (that I can now consider friends and family), my other friends, two of many animals, the country known as Australia, a small woman with blue hair who smokes too many cigarettes (but looks very cool while doing so), an east Asian man that calls me a ‘dumb bitch’, a woman I once called a ‘whore’ (right after she ended the lap-dance), and a tall man who drinks hot chocolate, that is available for free, by the bowl.

All references or allusions to real people are purely coincidental. All work is intended to be purely fictitious. This disclaimer is my way of saying, “You’ll never take me alive, bitches!”

This work has not been done in the interest of challenging Alcoholics Anonymous. I am not trying to instigate anything, because I know you won’t fight back.

I am doing this to inform, to persuade, and to entertain.

Preface

One fine day, as I wish to remember it (but it really wasn’t all that fine), I had a miserable time. I needed to do something in order to deal with a new, devastating change in my life. This change was so detrimental, that the many people around me were in fact in agreeance that it wasn’t the best for me. The change was that I had quit drinking alcohol.

A recovering alcoholic, at the age of eighteen, I was, and I didn’t really feel good about it. I needed to get sober, if I were to still continue taking breaths and have the hope of landing another girlfriend, who I would disappoint within a matter of minutes. And so I started taking the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings seriously. I started learning about The Twelve Step Program, The Big Book, and all the other things that made AA seem like a cult. To briefly explain what I was told to do, as part of the path of recovery, you might first need to understand why I am doing this.

This was an idea I had one morning, where I found myself drunk, even after I started going to AA meetings. I wanted to have a drink alone, and so I bought four cans of bitter to drink. After a few hours, when I tossed my twenty third can into the bin, I suddenly remembered the simple and humbling truth that had seemed to escape my often volatile mind - I was supposed to be at an AA meting!

Angered, and remorseful, I started to look for things I could tell myself, just to feel better about missing the meeting. It was at this moment that I learned how blind I had been, and how drunk I was. There were many flaws in AA, but I was too blind before. Wondering how my guard was let down, I came to the realisation that it most certainly must have been persuasion through language, as had been the case for every time something had gone wrong in my life.

I noticed a few things, primarily because I was reading Animal Farm by George Orwell at the time, about AA that were especially linked to language and persuasion. Another of my inspirations was the feature film, The Wolf Of Wall Street - the story of a terrible misogynistic, narcissistic, man that robed the world of millions, but who’s story seemed like the coolest thing ever after the movie. It is not a great story, of not a nice man. But the life of Jordan Belfort was glorified by the movie. How did it change to polar opposite? To further explain them, I should elaborate on the things I was told to do for my recovery. I was told to accept that I was powerless over alcohol, and that there was a god greater than me that could restore me to sanity. This god was someone I was supposed to believe in, and someone that I was willing to ask to have my shortcomings removed. This god was also supposed grant me things I could never teach myself, like serenity, courage, and wisdom.

I wondered, and kept wondering, about whether or not I had joined a cult. I couldn’t really tell what to think, and felt I should continue the steps, and see if they actually worked. I found myself at the stage where I had to accept that there was a god greater than me - that there was a higher power that could restore me to sanity. I was told by members at AA, that the word ‘god’ was to be used in any way I understood it, or in any way I didn’t understand it. I knew then, god was certainly more than a bearded old bloke.

Thinking about this particular god, and his particular abilities, I felt that there could have been a slight, unforeseen, and devastating malevolence. An abstract idea, or a frame of mind, was something a little too far-fetched for me. I wasn’t in the interest of having something that would leave me with resentments later on. I started trying to search for an object, a person, or a place that I could call as my ‘god’. Being the vile creature that I am, I started to go back into deep thoughts.

It was then, amidst a search through everything that had ever existed, that I asked myself a question.

Who is this God person, anyways?

This is what I thought to myself, before I used my dashing good looks to hide my shameful plagiarism. Actually, I would rather call it ‘justified’ plagiarism. I will come to that in a few moments, because I can hear you right now.

“Wait a minute, you handsome man. I thought AA was a place for people to learn about alcoholism, and learn tips and tricks for them to deal with it, a place to talk about family troubles and health issues. Where the hell does god fit into this?”

This is what you probably were thinking. If not, you’ve just shamed my intelligence in a vile fashion, for which I shall do nothing but sigh. But more importantly, let’s address the issue at hand. How does God fit into AA?

Alcoholics Anonymous is a bunch of fancy words that are said at the beginning of every meeting. They are not associated with any sects, any sex, any Sikhs, any snakes, and some other things that have gone over my head. Essentially, AA is made for the good of the people - for struggling alcoholics that they may some day enjoy the benefits of a life known as sobriety.

God is an interesting figure. At one’s first meeting, they wouldn’t really hear the word God glorified or anything. They wouldn’t hear about the fact that they need to depict a willingness to believe in such a god. But, AA does preach about god. There is a need to turn will and lives over to the care of that very same god, before taking a moral inventory of self. What newcomers don’t hear at first, is the need to admit and accept the exact nature of their wrongs, before asking God to remove the shortcomings. It is a cycle of twelve steps, that people are supposed to do multiple times over the course of their life. This is called, ‘The Twelve Step Program’.

The steps are:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

There are nine more such, that all use the word God, but the first three are ones that stood out to me.

People are allowed to use the word God to represent whatever they wanted. It could be a friend, a personality, a lover, or anything else that serves the purpose of acting as a label for this god. The word is merely just a word, although, what’s common amongst the people is the belief in a higher power - not a religious power, but a spiritual power. More information, and explanations about the program, god, and the fellowship are written in what is called ‘The Big Book’ - a book titled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’.

The twelve steps to recovery can only be completed if a person were to believe in such a higher power. While AA is not the only solution to alcoholism, it is said that there have been very few instances where the program doesn’t work. If I were to challenge it, I knew I wouldn’t succeed, because someone smarter than me has probably already done so and failed. If I were to not follow the steps diligently, then I would not still be on the path to sobriety. The best way for me to recover, was to take it as gospel. And so, I began to think about who this god was.

I kept reading the big book, to try and understand more about the procedure. One thing written in the book is the proof that such a god does in fact exist. The book states that if there were no God, and everything evolved by chance, that means that life originated from nothing, means nothing, and in the end, will amount to nothing. This peculiar statement serves as the proof of the existence of God. Of course, people have a hard time believing mindbogglingly perplexing things, and so the big book spends most of the time explaining such things clearly, absolving ambiguity.

From what I understood, and I felt that my understanding had no way of being incorrect (as AA preaches to use the word God any way I understand or don’t understand), this god was:

I. Someone that was solely responsible for my creation, but not my actions.
II. Someone that knows everything I do, think, and feel, and knows the same about everyone else.
III. Someone that can help me with problems, if I were to obey the requirements.

To me, the answer was quite obvious. It surely had to be the internet! It knew everything about me, and everyone else, and offered help too. However, the internet was a little too boring to have fun with. I wondered what this god gets, from feeding on my obedience, and came to the conclusion that it was power. It surely had to be power, which is something all gods would want to feel. Power is their primary incentive.

And so, I decided to think about the different things that the book of AA says, in relation to God, and the existence.

The Bizarre Improbability Argument

And so, with an idea of a god in my mind, I started to think about whether this god person really could solve problems, and help me with things. The big book is meant to help people find a higher power that would work miracles for them, as it states. It was then that I remembered the book The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, written by Douglas Adams, what it had to say about God. Douglas Adams writes about ‘the Babel Fish’ which was a fictitious item - a small fish that was placed in the ears of any living being, which performed the task of translating any language that the being were to hear. An encyclopedia entry in the book goes on to say:

“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this:

‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing.’

‘But,’ says Man, ‘the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’

‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

‘Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore, goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

Douglas Adams speaks of the Babel fish, something that evolved bizarrely. The very existence of AA itself seems like a bizarre improbability. It is almost as if it concerned creatures that somehow had similar genetic traits, that they all consumed the same liquid, and that it acted in the same way for all of them. It is such an insanely improbable thing - the existence of AA - that the Babel Fish can be looked at as the meetings, the general consensus of happiness, and the agreement of face to face interactions between strangers that all commonly agree they have alcoholism.

If there is the God that AA talks about, it means that god requires faith. The big book states very clearly, while making a convincing argument, that life came from nothing, means nothing, and will return to nothing, if there was no God. This it uses as the proof for the existence of god. But proof denies faith, and so it means, by their own arguments, that there really is no god.

Alcoholism, as explained by the big book, is no mere coincidence. But is the fact that such a step by step process, path, and guide to recovery, that people actively participate in such an improbable coincidence? To answer this, improbability must be studied and understood.

There was a need to understand the various languages, and a solution evolved - the Babel Fish. There was a need to study and understand alcoholism, and so, a solution evolved - Alcoholics Anonymous.

Hence, AA serves as the dead giveaway and proves that God does not exist, invalidating everything the big book says. However, there is no agreeable way to measure improbability, and hence, it is advisable to look past this possibility.

There is a solution, without propaganda

But, fear not! For the big book is backed by multiple testimonials - the most effective propaganda technique. For the stories of forty two men are convincing enough, the gospel of the big book is written to be taken as gospel. For it creates a sense of belonging and a sense of understanding, that people are inclined to believe in such a ‘gospel’ as their gospel.

The propaganda techniques that the big book uses, are purely done with the intention of making the readers believe the text more. One example they give in the third chapter, ‘There is a solution’, to persuade people, is this:

“Alcoholism is an illness. It is something that seems stupid to an outsider. This can be seen as a man with a desire for, let’s say, jaywalking. He jaywalks all day and night, and end up with a bruised elbow. Confident he can handle himself now, he sets out again, aware of his misfortune the last time, and ends up with two broken legs. After he was discharged from the hospital, he gets himself killed by jaywalking again. This is how an alcoholic works, with his desire for drinking.”

As the book felt it was necessary to give small anecdotes, that is why this essay also feels it is necessary to give anecdotes about indirectly related things like the Babel Fish. The big book does, unfortunately, ask more of the reader that this essay does. It asked that the readers follow the steps without question, without second guesses, and without doubt, in order to achieve a better lifestyle given their alcoholic minds. This is the same as a politician promising that everyone will be better off if they were to listen to him, and accept his holy words. But why then, was democracy ever invented?

AA is not the only solution, but it is preached as though it is the only one. The book is also very cleverly written, in the sense that it explicitly states how it is not the only solution, and that there have been minimal instances where it doesn’t work. It goes on to explain how it is the composite knowledge of the ninety nine per cent of instances where it does work, essentially expressing the common thoughts and feelings of different alcoholics and classifying this compost as ‘the alcoholic mind’.

For if someone were to cure themselves of this alcoholism, the book would say that they were never alcoholics in the first place, by their definition. There can be other solutions to alcoholism, that would not really sit well with the ego of the book. One can stay sober for their lifetime if they were to constantly remind themselves that by achieving this one feat over their lifespan, they would be invalidating one of the world’s largest communities.

And so, a man begins his journey to take down AA, and he dedicates his entire life to it.

But, fear not!

The writers of the book were very clever, as they had thought of and planned for such anomalies. As written before, they are the one per cent that the book says were never alcoholics in the first place! This is one of those minimal instances where the program doesn’t work.

“Hang on a second,” says the mere mortal who had just attempted to take down one of the largest communities in the world. “Are you trying to say I’m not an alcoholic then?”

“You are not, as what I say is the absolute truth, for I am indeed the composite knowledge,” says the big book, “and, for it was far too easy for you to quit, proving that you never really had the alcoholic mind.”

“But,” says the mere mortal, “I have spend every second of my existence denying my mental and physical desires of alcohol. It makes very incredibly anxious, and I feel attacked and humiliated, and even insulted, by you! I was able to stay sober, because I had a reason, and that was to spite you, oh mighty book!”

“Well then, dear alcoholic,” says the big book, “you became sober for the wrong reasons.”

“Maybe,” says the mere mortal, “but I can say that I have found a solution that does not involve your manipulative ways. Just because I didn’t fit into your definition of the alcoholic mind, doesn’t mean I’m not an alcoholic! I have accomplished more than you ever had, by proving your false ways - your manipulation, and your hypocrisy!”

“Oh crap,” says the big book, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

“Oh well,” says the mere mortal, “that was easy,” and cherishes his logical mind before an encore where he chugs a bottle of whiskey and dies of alcohol poisoning.

For all of these deep thoughts have been taking a toll on my mind, I have been left in a state of perplexion. I can only really say about myself the same words that Arthur Dent said, on Magrathea, on a Thursday, in a bath robe and slippers, which is that,

“I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.”

There is a theory which states that nothing will work for you if you don’t believe in it.

God will never answer your prayers if you don’t believe in him.

AA won’t work if you don’t believe in the program.

“Oh, bummer,” said one great philosopher, “and I was foolish enough to think that results were to make people start believing.”

The Unspoken Flaws of the Flawless AA

It is the nature of the human brain, to be intrigued by logic. AA overrides that, and promotes feeding obedience to a god as the right way to live, instead of allowing humans to feed their brains with logic, which, it says, is commonly a mistake alcoholics make. This is one of the many reasons, of the infinitely many reasons, that someone once claimed that a pen is mightier than a sword. That very same man was killed shortly thereafter, in a very melancholy way, for those were not the right words to say in a gladiator duel.

If only there was a book that were to tell us about the dangers of language, in much the same way book tells us about the dangers of alcohol, we would be living, thriving even, in a world without irony. George Orwell comes close to this, namely in Animal Farm, where he uses brilliantly crafted euphemisms for people. There are many flaws in the way the big book is written, and many subtle persuasion techniques that are intricately placed, in much the same way George Orwell addresses the issues with language.

Often overlooked, the usage of the words ‘us’ and ‘we’ create a sense of belonging, amongst people that feel lonely. The book says that it is “somewhat weak, even cowardly” to look away from such a spiritual power, right after it intertwines the reader in arguments of logic, which give the impression that is book is more moral, than spiritual.

The book has instances of such subtle persuasion:

“Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of god.”

“Oh, wow,” says one AA member, “they think exactly how I feel! It is almost like we are the same species of something, and that we have one thing in common too!”

The book also contradicts itself. Chapter 4 reads:

“The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results.”

Literally 2 pages later,

“In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way… Here are thousands of men and women who…”

Usage of reasoning is also evident.

“Everyone makes assumptions and readily accepts all kinds of theories without doubt.”

Literally the next paragraph,

“Everybody nowadays believes in scores of assumption for which there is good evidence but no perfect visual evidence.”

“Has anybody in the room read Catch-22?” asks one great thinker, who somehow thought a little too much about things, over-thought things, and hence ended up in the AA meeting.

Speaking of the flaws of AA, why, you may ask, I am doing this. I feel I must address that, before I am to give the big reveal that I have been slowly building up to.

For I have fallen prey to the manipulating words and language of everyone I’ve ever met, I want nothing more than to get back at them, and to feel some sort of power of them. As cynical as it sounds, you might be comforted to hear that I have no skills, but my penmanship to bank on. And if you were to agree with my thoughts and understanding of the dangers of language, it would render those very same people as ‘useless’. They will no longer feel powerful in their minds, and something they use so much - manipulation - will become something they are all avoided for. Their greatest weapon, what once was, will become their greatest weakness.

I don’t feel like I gain any power by writing this. Rather, I feel as thought I am taking it away from them. After reflecting on this, I can only really say,

“I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.”

And so now, I shall tell you the incredibly amazing climax that you were desperate to hear.

But, fear not, o’ (well, actually, not so) mighty mortal!

For it is the very simple and humble story that is at the beginning of the book of AA that tells us the trials and tribulations of a man who grew to become a co-founder of AA, a fact that is well hidden until the end of the story. Bill’s story, to the best of my memory capabilities, goes something like this:

He saved the world and did the most noble of things, which was to become a war veteran. He found himself enjoying an unfaithful desire, a drink. He magically ended up on a motorcycle after studying in college, which he then used to travel and foster himself a future. This future of his, in that land of opportunity, soon crumbled after a few drinks. Upset that alcohol ruined all this about him, he drank. He ended up in the hospital, the sole purpose of which was to keep his mouth shut. After that, he drank. He traveled to Canada and tried to restart his life. He was given money and a place to stay, and so he drank.

Nowhere in all of this, did his wife leave him. She must really have loved him, because how could there ever be contact without communication. And then his life was transformed when he spoke with a man, who spoke with another man. He never asked if humans loved speaking more than drinking. He never did wonder if there was indecency or an incentive to cheat in a lifestyle with tremendous difficulty. Then he did somethings and some other things. That’s about it.

This story seems like on-

“Hang on a second,” says an AA member. “We are not doing it for the money or anything, and that is exactly what the book preaches. Why are you then criticising the book,” he says before he sips his coffee, and feels just fine.

The writers of the book surely didn’t do it for money, as they have explicitly stated. They have done it to help those with alcoholic problems. They did it with good intentions, and have shown and proven their clean slate.

“But then, what could they have done it for,” asks one great thinker.

The program that was made was intricately designed to help people - the most vulnerable of people - that had nowhere to turn to, for all these people have one thing in common - alcohol. And so, it is quite easy for the creators of this book to know everything about everyone, which knowledge they then can use to help people.

And the only request of the writers was that people obey them.

This writers is starting to show me some resemblances.

Is it insanely improbable that by providing a solutions to people, the providers wanted no money, as there was something else they could have felt from it?

And then, if there is no writer or host at the meetings, how is there a social wellness? Do any of the people that keep going back feel a sensation of power?

And isn’t it even possible that the writer and every member of AA are in pursuit of power? Doesn’t the book say that minds feed on logic, as a decoy to hide the bitter truth that minds feed on power?

Wasn’t power established when they used a very mighty pen to persuade minds into believing a program?

And has one person not noticed that the first of the twelve steps is to admit that we are powerless?

Powerless individuals that were searching for a solution and found one by some writers that claim to be powerless themselves, as step one says - a step that will surely be forgotten by the time everyone asks about step twelve, right?

A quick proof of an undeniable clean state before a tsunami of common knowledge for frail minds?

I am starting to think that the writers made the big book in pursuit of becoming a god themselves, even if they didn’t realise it.

And all they really needed was a pen.

The encore

“And so hence,” one rebellious thinker said, “it is that alcohol opens up our deepest thoughts. These are merely human problems, not alcohol problems. The writers of the book have only been trying to manipulate us all the while!”

“Now hold on just a minute,” said the sponsor of this rebellious thinker, who happened to be sitting next to him at the very same meeting. “These deep thoughts of yours, however mighty they may be, prove that you are not an alcoholic and that you never were, because, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic! Begone, you incoherent swine!”

“Oh fuck,” said the rebellious thinker, “I can’t deal with more rejection in my life,” and promptly vanishes into a puff of beer fizz, for now was he truly free from the control of alcohol. He was truly free also from something greater than the control of alcohol!

It was the control of AA!

And so the sponsor continued, and so did everyone else.

But this story does not end there. In fact, it ends thirty seconds from there. This great man found a great solution that was to provide him what he needed. It was the unimagined answer, the highly sought after remedy, and the completely and most certainly impossible cure to alcoholism!

All he ever had to do for the rest of his life was to constantly remind himself of his real truth, his real belief, and his very own answer which was,

“I seem to be having tremendous difficulty in my lifestyle,”

He soon died after brewing his own concoction of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, an alcoholic beverage only enjoyed in the uncharted waters of the galaxy, which, as he understood, served its purpose of nullifying a carbon based life form that was mostly harmless.